Soap Opera Science: How General Hospital Will Save the World

As the good people of General Hospital struggle through issues ranging from mob wars to husbands who didn’t die when they were expected to, to a body that seemed to have died then came back to life again, we’d like to remind them that all of those problems will seem pretty trivial – not to mention go up in flames, literally – if the globe continues warming up at the current rates.

General Hospital — Blinded Me With Science

But maybe the reason why the citizens of Port Charles aren’t nearly as stressed over it as anyone else would be is because they know they have the ultimate weapon: The Cassadine weather machine.

GH — Short Term Fix

Like Wakanda’s vibranium, which can build clean rails, self-returning shields, and bionic arms, the Cassadine freezing process can do…anything it needs to. Need to put Lulu Spencer (Emme Rylan) on ice? It can do that. Need to freeze your dead son who fell down the stairs and broke his neck until medical science can fix, uhm, broken necks? It can do that.

General Hospital — Long Term Fix

But back in 1981, Helena Cassadine’s (Constance Towers) husband, Mikkos Cassadine, offered the world a way to cool down the planet, stop global warming, keep glaciers from melting, save the polar bears, prevent devastating fires, etc. And what did the world do? Oh, no, the world said: We like the world heating up the way it is, thank you very much.

So there went WSB agent Robert Scorpio (Tristan Rogers), along with stowaways Luke Spencer (Anthony Geary) and Laura Webber Baldwin (Genie Francis) to stop him, and doom the planet. Nice job, guys.

To add insult to injury, decades later, we learned that Luke stole the artificial diamond that powered the thing, and has been chipping away at it ever since, selling the shards to fund his globe-trotting lifestyle. Luke Spencer has doomed us all.

General Hospital (GH) airs weekdays on ABC. Check your local listings for airtimes. For more about what’s coming up in Port Charles, check out all the latest that’s been posted on GH spoilers, and for an in-depth look at the show’s history, click here.