Bachelor alum Lesley Murphy is getting real honest about her love life following her double mastectomy, which was roughly fifteen months ago.
The 31-year-old took to her website to post a blog titled “The Truth About Intimacy After a Double Mastectomy” on Wednesday, October 17.
She went public with her double mastectomy back in April 2017 after learning she carries the BRCA 2 gene.
“I was told about the logistical stuff – what to get before surgery, what I’d need after surgery, all the risks and side effects, etc etc etc,” she explained.
“While I was aware about the lack of sensation, nobody discussed the self-consciousness I’d face when being intimate with someone for the 1st or 5th or 10th time.”
Lesley explained her body is just different since having the surgery, but it can be a difficult topic to bring up with a partner.
“How exactly do you tell someone that no, that route of foreplay won’t work on me,” she said.
“Nope, still can’t feel anything there. Hey, easy on the squeeze, please. Yeah, that ripple you see there…that’s my new party trick, hope you like it!”
Though it’s been a difficult few months, her double mastectomy has actually improved her self confidence.
“I can’t lie to you. Not all days are rainbows and daisies. I have an inner critic that frequently tells me my chest isn’t normal,” she said.
“Then, my inner best friend comes into play and says DIFFERENT is SEXY, and she always wins. Feeling or no feeling, your partner should find you sexy because you are, not because you’re brave or because they feel an obligation to say certain words to your face.”
She continued, “If you’re someone who is super attached to your breasts, losing a body part can feel similar to grief.
“In the end, we must work through the pain and accept the ‘new’ and healthier versions of ourselves. Suffering, of any kind, connects us all… reminding us that we are all beautiful no matter the route we choose.”