On the July 24 episode of The Young and the Restless, Victor unveiled yet another new plan. Adam will run Newman Media, Victoria and Nicholas will run Newman Enterprises, and Nikki gets Chancellor, which is no longer a part of Winters, Yay! Everyone is happy! Victor is always right! The Human Resources Department at Chancellor is SO delighted that they wrote Nikki this very special memo, not unlike ones, which have previously been issued over at Newman.
Welcome!
From: Chancellor Industries Human Resources Department
To: Nicole Reed Foster Bancroft Newman DiSalvo Abbott Newman Landers Chow Sharpe Newman
Dear Ms. Newman –
First, we’d like to say how delighted we are to have you running our company. What a lovely surprise it was to find out that, after a very contentious merger of the Chancellor and Winters brands, and then an even more contentious split, we are getting yet another new boss and potential new name. (By the way, please let your staff know that, if they need any scrap papers, we have a warehouse of boxes containing both Chancellor-Winters, Abbott-Chancellor, and Chancellor Industries stationary. No, no, don’t worry about the dead trees. Making our bosses happy is all we are concerning ourselves with, now and forever.)
Corporate Culture
It is our understand that, over at your previous place of employment, Newman Enterprises, sleeping with a person Mr. Newman does not like or a relationship he does not approve of is adequate grounds for termination. We do not believe such language is available in our corporate guidelines, but we are happy to change them as you see fit. The only think we ask is that you give us a few days to run it by the legal department, and refrain from firing people for no reason, as thought could open the door to lawsuits…or seven.
Blood Purity
We also understand that you will be moving as many family members as you see fit into positions of authority. (Whether or not they are qualified. Not that we are suggesting such a thing could ever be true of a Newman.) Please give us a head’s up so that we may terminate Mr. Phillip Chancellor IV, a.k.a. Chance (Conner Floyd — who recently made this offer). Despite his name matching the name on the board, we realize that not even a past marriage to a Newman qualifies him to remain.
All the best and let us know what else we can do to make Chancellor feel more like home to you.
HR
Share this: