I Am Not a Number: Do You Want To Know About Patients 1-5 On General Hospital?

General Hospital (GH) is taking a page from the cult sci-fi classic, The Prisoner. There, every week, a new figure would introduce themselves to the titular prisoner as “I am Number 2.”

They would be rewarded with the query, “Who is Number One?” And then things would get really 1960s and psychedelic.

It took forever, but viewers finally found out that Jason (Steve Burton) was Patient Number Six. Which, in true Prisoner fashion, begs the question: Who are Numbers One through Five? Do you want to know? Here’s what almost 14,000 said:

By the Numbers
Of course, over 75% (who is Number 1-74?) of you insisted. Now that Peter has brought it up, you’re intrigued.

If Jason was Number Six, who were the five who came before him anyway? Could Drew (Billy Miller) have been Number Five? And what do Kevin and Ryan – both played by Jon Lindstrom – have to do with it?

Was this some sort of evil twin study, perhaps – paging Dr. Mengele? And is it tied into Anna’s (Finola Hughes) disappearance? She’s a twin, too! This is all getting curiouser and curiouser, and you can’t wait to get your answers! (Maybe this really isn’t about Cassandra after all.)

Do the Math
Over 24% of the audience feels nothing but double the boredom with this story. Who cares about Numbers One through Five, you’re sick of Six!

The Jason who returned is exactly the same Jason who disappeared so, obviously, whatever was done to him couldn’t have been too interesting. And if this leads to Faison (Anders Hove) and his boring offspring, or Valentin (James Patrick Stuart) and his piano-playing villainy, you are even less interested.

Why not crunch the numbers, as in make them go away, and forget this story ever happened. Especially if, as all the elements come together, it looks like Sonny (Maurice Benard) will be saving the day for his BFF. That’s a double pass.

General Hospital (GH) airs weekdays on ABC. Check your local listings for airtimes.