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Time Bandits: What Is Days of our Lives Thinking?

Time moves awfully fast in Salem for folks like Megan, Kristen, and Andrew Donovan.

kristen and megan in jail one second on days of our lives and out in salem soon after.How did Megan and Kristen DiMera get to Salem so quick looking fabulous?
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We understand that soaps aren’t supposed to be realistic, and Days of our Lives certainly leads the pack on characters coming back from the dead, magic disease-curing orchids, and microchips in your brain that turn model citizens into criminals. We are willing to let those go. But, we’ve got to ask: Does DAYS know how time works?

Days of our Lives: From Here To There

It was one thing when Ciara (Victoria Konefal) magically appeared from her seaworthy home with Ben (Robert Scott Wilson) to almost catch Hope (Kristian Alfonso) kissing Harris (Steve Burton). It was another thing when you could get from Salem, Middle America to Greece within the space of a commercial break.

DAYS: Would You Believe

But are we also supposed to believe that Megan (Miranda Wilson) and Kristen (Stacy Haiduk) could negotiate their release from prison, whip through all the necessary INTERNATIONAL paperwork, check out, buy new outfits and slather on the makeup, then show up at Marlena’s (Deidre Hall) and Roman’s (Josh Taylor) Brady Pub, respectively, in the time it took Kate (Lauren Koslow) to travel across town?

And don’t get us started on Andrew (Colton Little) being freed from wherever he was being held and reuniting with Paul (Christopher Sean) in San Francisco in the same time period. Was he a hostage in the building next door?

Days of our Lives: Why So Tense?

Have these writers ever heard of pacing? Have they heard of building tension? Have they heard of reality? We’ll go with the microchips. We’ll go with death being a temporary state. We’ll go with running for Governor of an unnamed state and reformed serial killers and stolen embryos, and no such thing as professional conflict of interest.

But can we please follow at least one law of thermodynamics? Yes, yes, yes, time is relative. But it’s also linear. Salem is not located on the edge of a black hole. Or a wormhole for that matter. Take your time, people!

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