While Dallas and Dynasty might have very concrete cultural icons and high points, and Knots Landing offers multiple places to start watching depending on what kind of show you’re interested in, Falcon Crest only has one place to kick off watching if you don’t want to do it from Season One, Episode One.
The Grapes of Boredom
Falcon Crest premiered on December 4, 1981, with Dallas, a year post-Who Shot Jr? as its lead-in. It should have been a massive hit. And it did well enough. Except for one minor problem: It was kind of boring.
Following his father’s mysterious death, Chase (Robert Foxworth) returns to the Tuscany Valley, his wife, and two grown kids in tow to battle with his aunt Angela (Jane Wyman) for the family grapes and winery. Angela snarled, Chase self-righteously pontificated, and his wife, Maggie (Susan Sullivan), simpered. Chase’s son, Cole (William R. Moses), whined over losing a sultry and actually interesting Melissa (Ana-Alicia) to Lance (Lorenzo Lamas), who mostly flexed his pecs and whined to his grandmother that he didn’t want to marry a woman as hot and interesting as Melissa just because Angela told him to.
Also, there was Angela’s daughter, Emma (Margaret Ladd), who killed her uncle, but since she was crazy, nobody held her responsible. It was like being trapped at the dinner table with a family who kept sniping at each other but never actually got anywhere.
Son of a Bitch
But then, Richard Channing (David Selby) arrived in Season Two. He was the illegitimate son of Angela’s dead husband. Angela hated him. He hated her. He took over the newspaper previously run by the Channing family, so Lance hated him, and Chase hated him for…well, Chase hated a lot of people for no reason.
Richard’s adoptive father was also a Nazi and a mobster, and he wanted his son to take over the Valley, Richard fought him, he fought Angela, he fought Chase, and he treated Lance like the nothing punk he was. He even ended up in bed with Melissa and actually appreciated her. Now we had a story. And a show worth watching. Starting with Season Two, Episode One. Now streaming on Amazon Prime.
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