Soap Tropes: Why Nobody Wins With Catfights

On The Bold and Beautiful, Sheila dared speak to Steffy’s daughter, Kelly, and after some sharp words back and forth, Steffy hauled off and punched her mother-in-law. Yay…what a great example to set for Steffy’s little girl (not to mention it eventually led to Steffy killing Sheila). We realize that catfights are a soap staple. A trope, one might say, even. But some work better than others.

Catfights

For instance, on The Young and the Restless, Nikki (Melody Thomas Scott) versus Jordan (Colleen Zenk) is awesome. Christine (Lauralee Bell) versus Phyllis (Michelle Stafford)…not so much.

The latter makes both women look not only unhinged but also, kind of dumb. Danny (Michael Damian)? Really? Danny is worth two intelligent, self-confident, independent women sinking to the level of name-calling middle-schoolers? No man is worth that. Here are some more Woman-versus-woman soap trope conflicts. The good, the bad, and the please stop it now.

General Hospital

Remember the classic days of Tracy (Jane Elliot, who got her start on GH in a surprising way) versus Monica (Leslie Charleson)? The thing they were supposedly fighting over may have been a house, it may have been a man, it may have been a company. But, in reality, it was about who would be head of a family that most certainly could not be left to the men. It was also about who would get to step into the beloved Lila Quartermain’s (Anna Lee) shoes. When both knew they weren’t worthy. Which is why they fought all that much harder.

Compare that epic series of battles to Carly (Laura Wright) and Nina (Cynthia Watros), today. We’re not only saying that Sonny (Maurice Benard), we’re also saying Michael (Chad Duell) and Willow (Katelyn MacMullen) aren’t worth it. Heck, even Wiley is getting too bratty to warrant this level of Grandma Wars. Maybe Amelia Grace can still be saved.

Days of Our Lives

First, kudos to Stephanie (Abigail Klein) and Jada (Elia Cantu) for being so calm and united during the Everett/Bobby (Blake Berris) muddle. Second, if you’re going to fight over a man, then Sami (Alison Sweeney) versus Nicole (Arianne Zucker) over EJ (Dan Feuerriegel) makes somewhat more sense than Nicole versus Sloan (Jessica Serfaty) over Eric (Greg Vaughan). Once again, we’ve got too pretty awesome women not only squabbling over a dude who can’t even keep a job, but one who has made it clear he wasn’t so much looking for a woman, as for a uterus. The man wanted to be a dad much more than he wanted to be a husband, which makes both Nicole and Sloan losing their minds over him a real head-scratcher.

As Good as It Gets

We’re not saying there haven’t been some entertaining, soapy, female rivalries. Brooke (Julia Barr) versus Erica (Susan Lucci, who recently won a big award) on All My Children never failed to expose just what an immature, insecure, hot mess of a diva Erica was. But did either come out of a scuffle looking good? Viki (Erika Slezak) and Dorian (Robin Strasser) may have brought some class and dignity to their decades-long rivalry, but they were both certifiably mentally ill, so at least their periodic losses of control made some sense.

Dull Days

Do you want more incomprehensible catfights? On As the World Turns, Susan (Marie Masters) and Kim (Kathryn Hayes) went to war over Bob (Don Hastings). Bob! We realize the man once got his wife and sister-in-law pregnant, and they gave birth to identical half-sister cousins. Did they think the guy had some hidden depths? But Bob? Bob isn’t worth fighting over. Bob isn’t worth losing sleep over. It’s Bob!

Control Your Passions

And then, of course, there were the endless catfights on Passions. Too many catfights to name. The show may not have lasted long, so it’s easier to ask: Was there a catfight on that show that didn’t end with both women looking like complete, childish, and immature fools? And is that really the image that soaps, a medium created for women, by women, wants to put forward? It’s something to think about.