Mayor Laura Collins has made it clear that her professional duties come far, far down her list of priorities on General Hospital. She is much more interested in charging off into an Eastern European war zone to look for her presumed dead oldest son than she is in balancing the Port Charles budget or raising their public schools’ test scores.
Even when she is in town, she’s got her grandson’s crazy teenage mom to deal with, not to mention a daughter in a coma and a whole bunch of grandchildren with an even bigger bunch of issues. The fact is, she never took the job seriously. And she was never elected democratically. (Grandson Spencer fixed the election, the precocious little scamp!) This is grounds for a recall! But who should step into the job in Laura’s (Genie Francis) place?
Laura ran against Ned (Wally Kurth) for mayor. He might have been a good alternative option. But, at the moment, he’s got a touch of thinking he’s someone else. Ned Quartermaine is Eddie Maine, rock star. And since he’s not even a real person, we don’t even know if he’s registered to vote, much less if he’s ever paid his taxes or fulfilled other civic duties.
Maybe Ned’s mother, Tracy (Jane Elliot), would like a crack at the position. Not only does Tracy know everything about everything and has a lifetime of fiscal and managerial experience, but she is the ex-wife of onetime Port Charles mayor Luke (Anthony Geary). Which also seems to be Laura’s primary qualification.
Sonny (Maurice Benard) is already the most beloved, most respected, most successful citizen. So why not make it official? He can then appoint Diane (Carolyn Hennessey), District Attorney, and everything they’ve been doing unofficially up to this point can become city policy. It would really skip the middlemen of doing an end-run around the police.
But Sonny is too busy. He’s got Nina (Cynthia Watros), and Carly (Laura Wright), and Drew (Cameron Mathison), and Cyrus (Jeff Kober) to deal with. That’s why we nominate Selina (Lydia Look), instead. She is already the ultimate girl boss. Give her the crown that goes with it!
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