The results are in on Naomi’s pregnancy test. There will not be a bundle of joy coming to Beyond the Gates. In fact, joy is currently absent from the Hawthorne household due to this stalemate about having children. Jacob is trying to love their way past it, but Naomi is concerned that love won’t be enough to hold off the resentment he may harbor over not being a father.
Key Takeaways
- Naomi and Jacob are on opposite sides of a marital issue that tends to be a deal breaker
- Jacob wants to take refuge in their love, but Naomi wants to be realistic
- Naomi could wind up being the problem in their marriage, and not an impasse about parenthood
A Strained Marriage
Naomi’s (Arielle Prepetit) turmoil over the possibility of being pregnant confirmed to her that she does not want to bring a child into her marriage with Jacob (Jibre Hordges). Motherhood isn’t on the list of what will make her happy in life. Naomi’s stance puts her at odds with her husband, who clearly wants to be a father.
It’s important to be open and honest about a desire, or lack thereof, to have children well before exchanging vows. That’s so there isn’t a heartbreaking stalemate about the issue after a couple has promised their lives to each other. Unfortunately, Naomi and Jacob are dealing with a difference of opinion on parenthood that’s often a deal breaker.
While both sides have valid points, no one should have a child or children if they don’t want to be a parent. This isn’t something anyone can compromise on. You’re either going to raise a baby with someone or you are not. So, the choice then is to sacrifice one’s own desires to support the desires of one’s spouse. Naomi has made it clear she’s not going to be the one who does so, leaving Jacob to reconcile with shelving the possibility of being a parent.
He told his wife that he can make that choice, that what they have together is enough, but Naomi doesn’t believe him. She had to put a stop to their tendency to fall back on intimacy to avoid talking through a problem. Her worry over Jacob’s feelings has her in knots. However, her concern could be the very thing that causes trouble in their marriage.
The Fear Of Not Being Enough
Naomi feels whole in her bond with Jacob. Their covenant is bound by their commitment to each other, and she needs nothing but his love to sustain their marriage. However, she’s not secure in Jacob’s assertion that he feels the same way. Their opposing viewpoints on adding a child to their family of two have shaken the foundation of what she’s held sacred. Now, she’s not sure if she’ll be enough for him even though he says she is.
The fear that Jacob will come to resent her sits at the core of her worry. And it’s that fear that could do her marriage in if she’s not careful. No one wants to be told how they’re feeling or how they might feel down the road. They also don’t want to navigate a relationship where the other person is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. That might be what happens with her and Jacob if Naomi continues to insist that she’s taking something from him.
It’s true that Jacob is losing the possibility of being a father by choosing to spend his life with Naomi. But that’s his decision to make, not hers. He could come to resent her, or he could do the emotional work necessary to move past his desire for a child and seek comfort and solace in their love.
People make sacrifices for the ones they love every day, and they don’t always come to resent those decisions or regret them. If Jacob can accept that Naomi doesn’t want children, then she’ll have to accept that he’s willing not to have them so he can be with her. Acceptance, in this case, is a two-way street. Their marriage will only get back on track if she lets him grieve what could have been without making herself feel terrible for choosing what’s right for her.
